Quick PSA, if you get one of those “Work scanned, AI use detected” comments on AO3, just mark them as spam.
Some moron apparently built a bot to annoy or prank hundreds of authors.
There is no scanning process, your work doesn’t actually resemble AI writing, it’s all bullshit. Mark the comment as spam (on AO3, not the email notification you got about the comment!) and don’t let it get to you.
The spam comments have evolved.
They are now also linking to a site they claim is able to scan works and tell you whether they were AI written or not, and that you should do that before reading a fic.
It should go without saying that you should not, under no circumstances, visit a site advertised in a spam comment.
In this case, I’d say there’s even a chance that the “scanning” site is actually used to scrape fics and use them for future AI writing. What it definitely doesn’t do is tell you whether something was AI written or not. That’s a bullshit claim.
Don’t use that site. Don’t believe these spam comments, whether you get them on your own works or see them on someone else’s.
It’s all bullshit.
Just got another one, so here’s what they look like to anyone curious. They’re never real users, either, just keysmashes for the display name.
Image Description: a screenshot of an AO3 comment by nlaoboh that says HoloAI pattern found in work. To all readers, before you read please scan the work with an AI detector like gowinston.ai and call out all AI using cheaters /end ID
As someone who works in education, actual AI detectors don’t even work well and are rendered obsolete within weeks if not days. Please spread this around to spare your fellow writers and reader!
Just like how we “can’t afford” high speed rail or walkable urbanism, but can pour hundreds of billions of tax dollars into subsidizing the car and oil industries and building/maintaining all car infrastructure. They pave over paradise to build parking lots and we foot the bill.
Literally every industry is like this btw. The nation-state exists to extract further wealth from workers and funnel it to capitalists, while legitimizing harsh violence against any resistance to this exploitation.
…In the suit, Faren asserts that she signed a severance agreement with ZeniMax, which stipulated that they’d provide her COBRA coverage (18 months of healthcare coverage after leaving the job) on the condition that she not file a discrimination lawsuit.
This was allegedly after a year of transphobic aggressions in her workplace after she came out (which the company seems to admit, if they’ve asked her not to file a discrimination suit). Oh, and she says she was pressured to come out because her supervisor outed her on Slack during a meeting before she could talk to the team herself. Faren documented all of this through screenshots, recorded phone calls, and more.
However, all of that isn’t even what the lawsuit is about. The suit is about what came next. …
“In mid-June, Ms. Faren confirmed with Blue Cross and Blue Shield that she was still covered under the plan and scheduled her surgeries to take place in July. However, the coverage was retroactively terminated after the surgeries took place, leaving Plaintiff with hospital and doctor’s bills.
Ms. Faren continued to be without health insurance until September 25, 2022, resulting in high priced prescription drug payments, as well as physician and hospital bills, many of which she was not aware of for months following services. …“
Even the most well-intentioned human resources departments don’t actually exist to help employees. They exist to protect the company from getting sued. That’s their main function. In Faren’s case, that happened in a straightforward way when her health coverage was held hostage so she wouldn’t file a discrimination lawsuit. But HR departments do this in more subtle ways, too. …
So… I found this and now it keeps coming to mind. You hear about “life-changing writing advice” all the time and usually its really not—but honestly this is it man.
I’m going to try it.
I love the lawyer metaphor, because whenever I see “John knew that…” in prose writing I immediately think “how? How does he know it?” Interrogate your witnesses. Cross-examine them. Make them explain their reasoning. It pays dividends.
All of this, but also feels/felt. My editor has forbidden me from using those and it’s forced me to stretch my skills.
“Writing Advice”: by Charles Palahniuk- In six seconds, you’ll hate me.
But in six months, you’ll be a better writer.
From this point forward – at least for the next half year – you may not use “thought” verbs. These include: Thinks, Knows, Understands, Realizes, Believes, Wants, Remembers, Imagines, Desires, and a hundred others you love to use.
The list should also include: Loves and Hates.
And it should include: Is and Has, but we’ll get to those, later.
Until some time around Christmas, you can’t write: Kenny wondered if Monica didn’t like him going out at night…”
Thinking is abstract. Knowing and believing are intangible. Your story will always be stronger if you just show the physical actions and details of your characters and allow your reader to do the thinking and knowing. And loving and hating.
Instead, you’ll have to Un-pack that to something like: “The mornings after Kenny had stayed out, beyond the last bus, until he’d had to bum a ride or pay for a cab and got home to find Monica faking sleep, faking because she never slept that quiet, those mornings, she’d only put her own cup of coffee in the microwave. Never his.”
Instead of characters knowing anything, you must now present the details that allow the reader to know them. Instead of a character wanting something, you must now describe the thing so that the reader wants it.
Instead of saying: “Adam knew Gwen liked him.”
You’ll have to say: “Between classes, Gwen was always leaned on his locker when he’d go to open it. She’d roll her eyes and shove off with one foot, leaving a black-heel mark on the painted metal, but she also left the smell of her perfume. The combination lock would still be warm from her ass. And the next break, Gwen would be leaned there, again.”
In short, no more short-cuts. Only specific sensory detail: action, smell, taste, sound, and feeling.
Typically, writers use these “thought” verbs at the beginning of a paragraph (In this form, you can call them “Thesis Statements” and I’ll rail against those, later) In a way, they state the intention of the paragraph. And what follows, illustrates them.
For example:
“Brenda knew she’d never make the deadline. Traffic was backed up from the bridge, past the first eight or nine exits. Her cell phone battery was dead. At home, the dogs would need to go out, or there would be a mess to clean up. Plus, she’d promised to water the plants for her neighbor…”
Do you see how the opening “thesis statement” steals the thunder of what follows? Don’t do it.
If nothing else, cut the opening sentence and place it after all the others. Better yet, transplant it and change it to: Brenda would never make the deadline.
Thinking is abstract. Knowing and believing are intangible. Your story will always be stronger if you just show the physical actions and details of your characters and allow your reader to do the thinking and knowing. And loving and hating.
Don’t tell your reader: “Lisa hated Tom.”
Instead, make your case like a lawyer in court, detail by detail. Present each piece of evidence. For example:
“During role call, in the breath after the teacher said Tom’s name, in that moment before he could answer, right then, Lisa would whisper-shout: ‘Butt Wipe,” just as Tom was saying, ‘Here’.”
One of the most-common mistakes that beginning writers make is leaving their characters alone. Writing, you may be alone. Reading, your audience may be alone. But your character should spend very, very little time alone. Because a solitary character starts thinking or worrying or wondering.
For example: Waiting for the bus, Mark started to worry about how long the trip would take..”
A better break-down might be: “The schedule said the bus would come by at noon, but Mark’s watch said it was already 11:57. You could see all the way down the road, as far as the Mall, and not see a bus. No doubt, the driver was parked at the turn-around, the far end of the line, taking a nap. The driver was kicked back, asleep, and Mark was going to be late. Or worse, the driver was drinking, and he’d pull up drunk and charge Mark seventy-five cents for death in a fiery traffic accident…”
A character alone must lapse into fantasy or memory, but even then you can’t use “thought” verbs or any of their abstract relatives.
Oh, and you can just forget about using the verbs forget and remember.
No more transitions such as: “Wanda remember how Nelson used to brush her hair.”
Instead: “Back in their sophomore year, Nelson used to brush her hair with smooth, long strokes of his hand.”
Again, Un-pack. Don’t take short-cuts.
Better yet, get your character with another character, fast. Get them together and get the action started. Let their actions and words show their thoughts. You – stay out of their heads.
And while you’re avoiding “thought” verbs, be very wary about using the bland verbs “is” and “have.”
One of the most-common mistakes that beginning writers make is leaving their characters alone.
For example:
“Ann’s eyes are blue.”
“Ann has blue eyes.”
Versus:
“Ann coughed and waved one hand past her face, clearing the cigarette smoke from her eyes, blue eyes, before she smiled…”
Instead of bland “is” and “has” statements, try burying your details of what a character has or is, in actions or gestures. At its most basic, this is showing your story instead of telling it.
And forever after, once you’ve learned to Un-pack your characters, you’ll hate the lazy writer who settles for: “Jim sat beside the telephone, wondering why Amanda didn’t call.”
Please. For now, hate me all you want, but don’t use “thought” verbs. After Christmas, go crazy, but I’d bet money you won’t. End ID]
So many people marry people they don’t like hanging out with.
When they say to marry your best friend they’re talking about that you need to like hanging out with them. You should probably like just hanging out with the person you’ve committed your life to. Because that’s what you’ll be doing most of the time.
In most romantic relationships the sex and longingly staring into each others eyes part is a relatively small portion of it. Most of your time is gonna be reading the newspaper in silence or cooking dinner or trying and failing to do a book club with your friends.
fished through my tumblr over dinner tonight to find this post bc i quote it all the time and i wanted to show my pal who’s a twin. his face fell. “that’s us”
his eyes were bloodshot and his mouth agape. i think he’s just in awe at how funny it is and i go “lol who’s sniff and who’s whimper” and he goes. “no. THAT’S US.”
called his brother to get here asap with the hard drives of the day they were born, spent the next hour doing a deep dive to find the source of this image and analyzing the video. the only differences are the sheet and crib they’re in but we think they may have been moved to a secondary location between the video and this image because their features are identical and the hats are the EXACT same down to how they’re resting on their heads, and they were not provided by the hospital.
i quote sniff and whimper every day. i show everybody i know this gif i think it is that funny. my friend and i were laying on the ground like two hours before dinner going “i’m sniff..” “i’m whimper!” in little voices.
i fucking know sniff and whimper. i’ve known sniff and whimper all along.
